3.27.2008

Pages of Happiness

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Last Christmas, at Jackie Clark Designs, the girls (Jackie, Claudia and Beverly and I) exchanged gifts. I think we exchange gifts weekly, really - someone is always having a birthday, needs cheered along, has something they are tired of and want to pass along.. it's a share-fest the first twenty minutes we are together in the morning! Beverly and I love paper and scrapping and ephemera. She is the queen and I am her jester.. Beverly's collection is marvelous and I have rummaged through it drooling! Her gift to me for Christmas was delightful, there was a business card holder with the Eiffel Tower on it for my new Etsy shop business cards, a decorative box of matches in a lovely green and teal shade.. The match tips were even green! And this lovely notebook. I could hardly bring myself to write in it, it's just pretty. But I had started a memento box of cards and "bits n pieces" that reminded me of friends and I decided I would use the notebook as a place to write about the important people and events that make our lives so full and happy. It was fun to look around the house for things that I could collage the pages with. I added business cards, menus, letters, envelopes and magazine clippings.. just randomly and very relaxed. I wanted no pressure here. I have the notebook on my desk and when I get to feeling sorry for myself or need cheer.. I open my friend book and can hear their voices. I know what each of them would say about my "problem". I have such fun imaginary dialog with my notebook of friends. I'm sure they prefer I talk to the book than dial them up every time I hit a stumbling block in life!

3.25.2008

Room with a view

I have been all over this house in the past four years trying to carve out a spot for an office. I think I have already said all this.. it is a constant hitch in my giddy-up. I am fortunate that I have extra space in our home to use for hobbies, crafts and sewing, but the rooms are on the second floor. No matter how inviting I have tried to make them, I am always in alone in my crafting endeavors. Nice, right? Except that I am obsessed with whatever flavor of the month my craft might be and if I am in the zone, I can be gone for evenings at a time and never see my kids or hubby. And, no matter how organized my craft room is, it isn't an office. I have lost many an envelope, bill, important school notice in trying to train myself and family to transport mail to my "office".
Our family room is oddly shaped, basically in an L and has two large arched entrance ways, so there is limited wall space. This little corner between one of the doorways and the fireplace has never had a real purpose, it has housed a table and chairs for gaming, been lined with bookshelves and been a cozy reading nook, been a catch-all for furniture that doesn't fit elsewhere, and been the location of the Christmas tree for many years past. Enough already!
Momma needs an office! So I finally got the nerve to make it more officy and less inviting for oddball decorating schemes I come up with in the middle of the night.

I purchased attractive filing supplies, kept things coordinated, tried not to freak out the husband with the endless odds and ends I love to decorate with in my hobby room. It has taken me four years, and five household locations to carve this little piece of real-estate out for myself and my laptop. If you have the ability to carve out a small office "space", not real office even, I highly recommend it. There is work yet to be done, cords to hide, finishing touches and the like, but I am excited to be doing that instead of still wishing I had an office in the first place. While I still have to do major projets elsewhere, this set up has been such a blessing, the kids draw and play games at my desk (I do share), it's great for homework or writing thank-you cards to Grandma. I have been so much more efficient, on time with my bills and been able to keep a decent calendar, keep track of projects I am working on, even do filing while we watch a movie or favorite TV show. I am productive and can still BE WITH MY FAMILY. I am looking at them now, they look like they might be wondering if I am going to the grocery store anytime soon. Does that laptop bake cookies?

3.24.2008

Simple little pleasures

Elvis let me take his picture all curled up in his pouch. He let me feed him an Apple Jack, which he was very greedy about! While he ate it and was busy, I was able to pet him without him barking at me. We got along famously this week, Jen came today to pick him and Leah up. I will miss Elvis! Can't wait for his next visit!
Lookie-loo.. I was shopping over at Mom-o-Matic's etsy shop and found the cutest EVER Cracker-Jack's charm she strung onto a sterling chain. I never get excited about arriving mail, but it turns out that is because I wasn't participating properly in the whole shop online experience that I know so many women enjoy! I am now a believer. The package was so cute.. love the business card.. I got a little bonus charm in my package that I would never have anticipated AND, yes and there was a fantastic smelling sample bar of soap (White Tea) from Rebecca's Soap Delicatessen.
I have to tell you, my charm is a Lucky Strike cigarette package with ciggies sticking out! This was the first brand of cigarette I tried smoking as a way-too-young-lady(?). If I could just take back that day.. But for a VERY reasonable $10.00, I now have a charm to commemorate my 2 years NO SMOKING anniversary coming on April 11. I have worn it several times.
I have decided though, that really if I think of it, the charm should really be a very humble reminder of what it was like to be 16, to be a little foolish and to think I knew so much. I wear it as much to remind me of my triumph over smoking as I do to remind me to be gracious with my daughter who is now being presented with these same challenges.

Change

As the parent of a teenager, I keep thinking that there are so many things I should have figured out by now, some things should be second nature by now, that this parenting thing should be easier, come to me more naturally, I should have developed a parental instinct. But I feel so out of synch, so one-step behind. I can't seem to anticipate what might be just around the corner. It used to be that I knew when my daughter was up to no good, the house would get really quiet and still, or she would think she was being clever about something and I could follow her trail of deviousness that laid so clearly like bread crumbs on the forest floor. I could anticipate her needs, her fears, her anxieties, I knew what troubled her. I could control and prevent and intervene and gaurd and protect and teach and demonstrate right through whatever the danger might be. She is fifteen. Her world is different than mine was at fifteen. Just as my mother's was different from mine, and her mother's before her. Just so much bigger and more dangerous and more deadly. I have become my mother many times and in many different ways these past few years and I see from her eyes, hear with her ears, feel with her heart what it was to love me, to fear for me, to watch me make mistakes. My daughter does not know how much we are alike yet. I did not know how much I was like my mother. I did not know that I would one day grow up to love her as my friend, count on her for laughter and a good dose of reality now and then. I did not know. How mothering changes us. How loving so much changes the life we lead.


3.23.2008

Have a wonderful Easter!

3.21.2008

You call that art?




"White dishes", displayed at Felissimo Fine Foods (acrylic on canvas banners)





When I was young my Mom signed me up for nearly every type of afterschool activity, gymnastics, horse back riding lessons, 4-H, drawing and painting classes and I was in all kinds of school activities as well. She just encouraged my sister and I to try many things, to see what we enjoyed, but mostly she just wanted us to be busy, leave her be and to occassionally have the house to herself. These are some of the paintings I have done, either for myself or my mom or for a client.



"Patio behind French Doors" Brad Bachman Custom Homes (3'x4' mural on cement wall)



"Itallian Courtyard" Brad Bachman Custom Homes (6' x 4' mural on cement wall)



"Cafe & Catering" Felissimo Fine Foods (Collage and acrylic on canvas)







"Purple Flower" acrylic on canvas 18"x 20"


"War Horse" acrylic on 2.5' square canvas

Complete copy.. from famous French poster (hangs in my living room)



18" x 36" acrylic on canvas


"Madame X" scaled down reproduction of Virginie Gautreau by John Singer Sargent painted for my mother. Acrylic on canvas 18" x 20".


My senior year of high school, I transfered from a school I had attened most of my school years to a new Magnet school for art that was opening here in Wichita. I couldn't wait to get to class, to learn more about art, photography, I even tried ceramics. I just want to piddle in everything. I want to try it all. And so far I have been fortunate enough to have been able to dabble in many wonderful hobbies and crafts. I love painting because it is so easy to change what you are doing, to add or modify what is happening on the canvas. I didn't say I was all that great at it, but man is it fun to work on!

Solid Gold

These are the folks. Fred and Ginger. You can tell where I get my sass.

Fridays are open dance night at the seniors lounge at the Mouse Lodge. That's where Fred and Ginger have been going for the past three weeks to practice what they have learned in their ballroom dancing lesson on Tuesday. Yesterday she was complaining that they hadn't yet made it across the entire dance floor doing the Fox Trott, Dad keeps stopping when he forgets one of the turns and the whole class is at the other end of the dance floor and they are stuck there waiting for the instructor. She says no one wants to dance with them. They're the ICKY couple who can't do it right.

Today Mom was getting ready for her day and had just seen on the home shopping network some gal had layered tons of dangly bracelets in various styles.. Mom had just purchased some of the same, she knew she was en Vogue. She stopped what she was doing to go layer her bangles on. Hair poofed, heels on, skirt swaying at her ankles, dangles on her wrists, jewels a-glittering and she was admiring her bedazzled wrist when she tripped over a cord on the living room floor and was catapulted through the doorway and onto the hardwood floors of the kitchen, head first on her belly into the kitchen barstools. She said she skinned both knees, hit her head on the stools, rolled over and crushed her shoulder and her arm against the kitchen island. She crawled for the phone to call Dad, she was certain she had broken her arm. Dad called Debbie.. her office is just off the kitchen, he hoped she could go help Mom up off the ground and see what damage was done.

I called in between the call to Dad and Debbie's paramedic arrival. It sounded pretty bad, but I have known my mother to take some colossal falls, so I was waiting for the shock to wear off before I went racing over to help. I got a call about twenty minutes later and Mom had her wits about her and could relate the story to me in all it's glory. Every time she said something, I laughed a little harder. I couldn't help it. She said she was covered in vegetables.. I wondered if she knocked over a vegetable cart? No, frozen veggies in bags, (for the swelling) she corrected me, then added she couldn't let them get too warm, the sweet potatoes were on the menu for dinner. She said her glasses were crooked, they got shoved into her nose on impact. She said her bracelets got bent. It was such a mixture of whining, laughing and absolute irritation at the whole upset of falling down. Her biggest worry.. she was afraid it might affect her dance performance this evening!
I told her not to worry, she was Solid.











If you are a huge Solid Gold Dance fan.. you can find all kinds of trivia, pictures and fan-stuff at http://sgdanceconnection.com That is where this photo was obtained.

Lillies



These were an Easter gift from Jackie. I have never had lillies before. I see them every year and think how pretty they are, but have never purchased any. They smell wonderful. Transporting them in my car after work yesterday I could smell them all the way home and they were clear in the back of the Jeep. I hope they are hardy enough for my brown thumb. I want to plant them and enjoy them again next year!
Thank you Jackie!

3.20.2008

Special brand of crazy

I just don't know anyone who isn't a little bit off kilter. Normal? I'm pretty sure that I visited there once, but wasn't invited to stay. Obsession, compulsion? Don't care, it all costs the same. I love the line from the movie As Good As It Gets when Jack Nickleson's character answers the door and the maid from down the hall asks if he would dog-sit for the scruffy dog Verdell.. (she is telling him what a Christian thing to do to help his neighbor who is in need).. Jack's character says.. "go sell crazy somewhere else.. we're all full up here!"
Crazy livin', I tell you, it's the only kind I know. Throw some normal in there and it's like stepping off the walking treadmill that they have at the airport to move you along faster.. that step from the automated floor to the carpet.. it's a doozy. I am working with Jackie Clark at least once a week now and every time I am there I hear her say, "I know you think I'm crazy.. but.." She's no more crazy than anyone else I know. But we all have our own special brand of crazy, don't we? Sometimes there are several of us gals there at once, sometimes it's just me and Jackie. It doesn't matter, someone will tip the scale of outrageous behavior and give the rest of us a good laugh. Yesterday we were trying to photograph a quilt. The lengths we went to! The laughter, the camaraderie... the only thing that beats a visit to crazytown is finding that your friends are already there, and they saved you a cup of coffee.

3.19.2008

Elvis is in the building

This is Elvis. He is a Sugar Glider and he belongs to my sister and her daughters, Brooke and Sam. I am pet sitting for Elvis and Leah, a sweet black Lab that also belongs to sis. Lions and tigers and bears, OH MY. This means I have two dogs, a Sugar Glider, a cat and a gheko in the house right now. Thank goodness it's spring break, the kids are home and the yard has a fence!
Elvis is a few months old, he's grown a lot since they bought him. Sugar Gliders make a barking noise when they are frightened, and Elvis used to squeal all the time, any little noise, movement or bump in the road. I started taking him several times a week and spending time with him to bond. To really be a good glider mommie, you need to spend 4 to 6 hours a day with them in close contact so they learn your scent, and start to see you as their "tree" and their pouch as their nest. It's been about a month since I have seen him. He is so much more gentle and quiet than in the past.
Jen has two other Gliders, Jackson and Priscilla. Jackson is a doll, he's so tame and gentle and such a ham.. he knows he's cool. Priscilla was purchased after they found out that when they thought they were getting a mating pair (Jackson and Milie, now Elvis), they actually had two males. Jackson and Priscilla got to go on vacation.. Jackson is a superstar and has to make appearances.
Gidget doesn't care what you call them or how special we think they are, she wants to eat them. Leah is protecting her baby. She knows Elvis is from her house, that her kids love Elvis and if Gidget doesn't watch it, she's going to be mince meat. She's trying really hard to be nice, but she has her limit.
Leah had a rough day, she just wants her people. Gidget is bossy and mean and stingy. Hurry home, Mom!

Grace

I think I am in love with things of old because they are a physical reminder of what life was like when the pace was just a bit slower. I see an object from the past and my mind questions how was it used, was it loved, did the owner just accept that the appliance or apparatus was the best there was and marvel at it's technology, never imagining that in a few decades future generations would laugh at it's limits, it's simplistic nature, it's uselessness in this new world?
But also I think I like to pretend that people were nicer, had better manners, cared about people on a deeper level, were more truthful, had principles, followed rules and had integrity. Honestly, that really is what these things mean to me. As if by collecting and loving and using them, those ideas might come to life. They are a wish for what I want life to be like. Those concepts were no more universal or true than now, but the fashion, the photos, the literature, the implication is that they were. By refusing to acknowledge ugly things, ugly words, ugly deeds or ideas, ugly didn't exist.
Yesterday my friend Debbie was physically pushed with a shopping cart while standing in line by a nasty old man behind her who was in a hurry at the checkout at the grocery store. He didn't like the pace of the line, that he had to wait, that Debbie didn't crowd the person in front of her, impose her will on someone else for his convenience. Poor baby could hardly tell me the story without crying. I thought I was mad about the pre-school mom's leaving out a fellow blogger, but this.. OUTRAGEOUS. She asked what would I have done in that situation? I think the little man would still be in surgery having the shopping cart removed from his urethra and I might be in jail waiting for my husband to post bail, but there would have been a brawl. I am having trouble with my reaction, his reaction, that a situation like that even occurs! Debbie, quiet and sweet, pleasant and giving, helpful and kind.. She kept her temper, she completed her transaction with no more than a glare back to her tormentor - who in the eyes of the law committed battery! The worst is that she keeps going back to that moment and playing out all the scenarios of what she wished she had said or done.. it's exhausting me thinking about it! I just say, let karma have him. I am sure there will be justice. But thank you for being a lady, for being brave, for keeping yourself together, for showing him that he cannot force you to be less than you are, loving and peaceful and gentle and graceful. I still think you should carry a bigger purse in case you need to swing it very brusquely over your shoulder (and into your tormentor's face) if you ever need to carve out some personal space in line, but that's me.

3.18.2008

The beholder

My mother's birthday is on Thursday. Yesterday we had coffee at the Hoffice on the newly decorated porch and complemented ourselves on how much we have improved the place. This picture is a "before" of what is now Mom & Dad's new bedroom. She will be miffed that I am not showing the "after", which is quite lovely and completely new. I post this picture because it reminds me of every home improvement project I have witnessed or taken part of with my parents. My mother can make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.. there will be no disputing that. I have watched her do it my whole life. She sees things no one else can see, in a way no one else can see them. She sees potential, she sees beyond, beneath and in spite of.. she sees beauty. Right now she is trying to convince me to undertake a renovation in my home that she sees as completed and has visions of my family already living in and benefiting from. I see it, I know it's there, but I'm not ready for the work just yet. In Katy's eyes, it is already done. She has taught me through the years so many things, but most importantly to imagine, to create, to renovate and rejuvenate what life is and how I live it. I love that she still can wear me out, that I am her cohort in her adventurous life, that we have so much to share and build and decorate and dream about. I love not knowing what comes next, but knowing it will be fabulous and fun and unique and that in our pursuit of it we will be together and enjoying the ride. For her birthday I am doing as I'm told, getting her a gift that she has pre-selected. But I am also writing about her spirit and how important of a person she is to me, to my kids, to everyone who is her friend. I love that she sees beautiful things, even in an ugly world.

3.17.2008

Rain drops







This makes me want to be still and be quiet.

Magically delicious!


Oh, Debbie, you crack me up! I dropped my kids off this morning at Mom's before heading out to the KS My Stitch Crochet Guild meeting at Twist. Debbie had on her green.. a string of Mardi Gras beads and was rockin' to some music and copying tax returns in the office. She had a sneaky grin. "Close your eyes.. I got you something" I opened them and the theme song came immediately into my head when I saw it. "They're magically delicious!" Debbie sent off for this musical bank with the proof of purchase a long time ago she said. The other day I had on a Lucky Charms T-shirt, the one that pulled me into the Goodwill where I found my stash of hankies last month. She remembered seeing me in it, remembered the story from my blog and brought this for me to have. I always wished I had the kind of mom that would save the receipt, the bar code from the cereal box, had the right postage, could find an envelope and would send off for the goofy toy on the box, any toy, any box. Debbie's that kind of gal. I love it that she did that for her kids and that she still had the little bank, and has passed the torch to me. What luck to have such sentimental people and thoughtful people in my life. My pot of gold is full.

The hard way

Little Bunny Boo, Boo.. I think that is part of a song. My grandpa used to sing it at Easter time when we would drive to his mother's house in Oklahoma. There was always a HUGE egg hunt, gads of food and platters of.. Deviled eggs. They were the eggs that got boiled for the egg hunt, colored, but didn't pass inspection. So as not to waste, they were turned into Deviled eggs.
Which meant the already not so appealing trays of dry whipped egg centers were discolored every odd shade of food coloring, sometimes even the yolks were colored.
Plastic.. that's the way to go. Put a jelly bean in there, the kids will love it was the consensus. But there were those who couldn't let go, who found joy in dying the eggs, stinking up the house with vinegar. Tradition, artistry, foolery. This year I found this goofy little egg holder at the Goodwill, 49 cents. Two dozen eggs and a packet of magic glitter dust, and voila. Marginally decorated eggs. But the cups of dye were so, pretty, watching the eggs turn color and bob in the water, the choice of colors and freedom to experiment.. Priceless.
Happy Easter, plastic or not.

3.16.2008

To all the Hortons

I was reading a blog I enjoy, Mom-O-Matic, ( http://mom-o-matic.blogspot.com ) and poor thing was describing in her recent post (Strange Day March 14) another side-effect of mommy-hood.. trying to make mommy friends and sometimes getting left out of the play date circle. It has been a long time since I walked either of my kids to their classrooms, but I so remember this long walk to and from the car parading along in whatever get-up I was wearing when it dawned on me it was time to go get the little buggers. I was always just a tad late, mostly ready for work, but still had 100 things to do yet, often went tearing out of the driveway praying I could find a spot to park. Once I dropped my daughter off and forgot school got out early that day.. lots of phone calls at work from the school office.. Not a really good mommy. Busy, self-indulgent mommy who never had a day-runner and loved that babies were old enough for school.
I took my 8 year old son and my 15 year old daughter to watch Horton Hears a Who Friday evening. It had been many, many years since I had been read this story and it was not one I read to my kids, but I remembered the plot, I thought. I was skeptical about what level of entertainment and joy this evening would hold, but a mommy's got to do what a mommy's got to do. It was a delightful story, great animation, had fun characters and I liked Jim Carey as Horton. All three of us laughed out loud and turned to each other at different times to verify how much fun we were all having together.. "Mom that's funny! HA, HA". Lot's of line quoting and pointing at the screen. We talked about it all the way home and are still quoting Horton and his friends this morning after church.
But I keep thinking about Mom-O-Matic and her description of feeling left out and not fitting in. I think she is a Horton and she hears Whos. What kind, I don't know, I think they might be different from the Who's I hear. I know I'm a Horton. It's lonely to see things differently, to be creative, to be random, to be enthusiastic, to fly by the seat of your pants, to have a sense of humor that is just a bit wicked and twisted, but mostly just honest. I think people don't get us if we're a Horton and they find it inconvenient to try to know us. We're unconventional. If Mom-O-Matic is a Horton, then I could be one of her Whos.. I hear her right now, and maybe she might hear me (I left her a comment.. it's not like I think she's hearing me). It's OK. There are lots of Hortons in Blogland, and lots of Whos that read her blog. Perfect, happy, shiny, mommy people on the pre-school sidewalk won't always hear you, or see you, but we do, 100%.

Happy, smiley people

This is hubby and me at my sister's birthday celebration a few weeks ago. We have been married 12 years in April this year (I'm celebrating even now). Jim NEVER smiles in photos, and one of us is usually the one holding the camera.. so this is rare.. a picture of us both and both of us smiling. I'm always tossing a dirty look to a child about to commit a crime against a sibling, or possibly a perfect stranger, laughing with my head thrown back and all you get are my nostrils in the photo, or I look like I've been on a three day bender, Jim just scowls this pouty little purse of his lips, "you know I hate to have my picture taken" and sighs deeply. So, I love this photo. It was taken by Lauren, my daughter. I'm a little shiny, but I do look happy, I guess I'll take it.

3.14.2008

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There! I finally got it right. I hope you like the slide show. It was easier when I followed directions.

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Smilebox

What has surprised me most about blogging is this new dialog it opens up, the new places it takes my friendships, the people I connect with in unexpected ways. Sometimes it is a picture that unites us, sometimes a story, an idea, a club.. the Internet is is a different tool to different people. Everyone I talk to about blogging tells me about the blog they read, shows me a new site, a new feature, a new way to view, gather and interpret information. Today I received this email from Debbie, Dad's secretary I am always talking about. It contained a link to Smilebox (http://www.smilebox.com/), a digital scrapbook site. I had been thinking I would like to sit down and find good tools for photo collages, for slide shows and there in my email was the perfect tool. I dropped everything I was doing to explore it for an hour. I made a photo collage and a slide show.. having a bit of trouble with HTML, but that's just me.. the site was easy to use and very versatile. I might have gotten around to shopping for this site, but most likely would be still wishful thinking. But because I am making new friendships, exploring new territory, I am getting new information.. without much effort. Thank you for the new fun toy, Debbie, I can't wait to make more collages!

3.13.2008

With love.


These precious buttons, in the most luscious shade of red, deep and rich, not orangy or washed out, no, THE only shade that they eye associates with love, with romance, with elegance and strength.. These precious buttons were strung on crafting wire, one at a time, lovingly selected, the wire twisted and waved like garland. They were made for me and given to me by Ms. Claudia, whom I think of as a living example of Hot Chocolate. Somewhere in the earliest memories of my childhood there came stories of Claudia, her wild humor, her commanding voice, her strong laugh, her wit, her adventures.. my mother and Claudia were hair stylists at the same salon. My mom worked part-time and would come home from work and tell my dad or a friend about her day.. always there was a Claudia fragment. I associated her name, her voice, her laugh, the sound of my mother's voice as she talked about Claudia was linked forever with fun, frivolity, bravery, strength and charm. I now work with Claudia some fifteen years later. When I was reunited with her and sat and caught up on gossip, it was like being a child again in some ways, but being treated as an adult. I was brought to a time when my mother was happy and young and busy and I was naive and carefree. She was human hot chocolate for my soul. I needed a Claudia back in my life. God works so mysteriously, in such small gentle ways. He worked some wonderful women into my life just in time to help me, to in many ways save me. I know these buttons are buttons. I know Claudia is human, that these women are friends, that divine intervention may be too deep.. but I know love when I see it.

If you're like me, you want to know who I'm talking about. Scoot over to Jackie Clark Designs at http://jackieclarkdesigns.blogspot.com/ and you'll find Claudia's smiling face in the post Nov. 30, '07. Beverly and I are there too! When I get to be a better blogger, that won't be so difficult, I'll know how to link you there!

3.11.2008

anything is possible



From Hammacher Schlemmer, The 14 m.p.h. cooler at a mere $499.95. This catalog comes monthly since an order I placed last Christmas and is full of gizmos and whats-its. This rideable cooler that will hold 24 beverages and has a cup holder, footrests and padded seat. I can't stop looking at it. I think I want one. I am riveted by it's promise of lethargy. I wreaks "I have too much money, not enough sense". That's not what makes me love it, I love that someone invented it and someone else is buying it somewhere in America. It supports up to 300 lbs. I'm speechless.